Wonderful. I just learned that 61.19 cups of my favorite drip coffee collectively contain enough caffeine to put me six feet under. I found this out, surprisingly, while browsing Google for “good places to write” since my bedroom is sheathed in noise from all other parts of the house. An article on bloggle.com, which, to my delight, is a popular blog devoted to the best beverage in the world, discusses the Great Good Places to write. The article mentions Voltaire downing 50 to 72 cups of coffee a day while writing in a coffee shop, and provides a link to Energy Fiend where you can determine how much caffeine is too much caffeine (among other substances). Here’s a list of caffeinated substances and the respective quantities it would take to kill me:
- Chocolate Milk: 1774.5 glasses
- Hershey Bars: 985.83
- Barq’s Rootbeer: 394.33 cans
- Brewed Green Tea: 354.9 cups
- Coca-Cola: 256.17 cans
- Pepsi-Cola: 233.49 cans
- Lipton Iced Tea: 177.45 bottles
- Mountain Dew: 161.32 cans
- Vault: 126.75 cans
- Enviga Sparking Green Tea: 88.72 cans
- Starbucks Double Shot: 68.25 cans
- Full Throttle Energy Drink: 61.61 cans
- Drip Coffee: 61.19 cups
- Rockstar Energy Drink: 55.45 cans
- Maximum-Strength No-Doz: 44.36 pills
- Starbucks Grande Coffee: 23.85 cups
I never would have guessed that there was so much caffeine in a standard Starbucks grande. I drink them all the time, unaware that each one, before leaving my system, brings me 4.19% closer to death. Keep in mind I only weigh about 130 lbs., and I’m not sure of the timeframes involved in the list above, but next time I have a craving for chocolate milk, I’ll stop at 1773 glasses just to be safe.
But back to writing in coffee shops: even if I do manage to find one that provides me with a welcome change of scenery as well as the constant aroma of freshly ground coffee beans in a spectrum of flavors, so that in order to subdue my wandering thoughts I’d have to try every last flavor…
Oh, how my mind digresses at the slightest hint of coffee! It’s just so rich and steamy and irresistible, so that these thoughts are always unavoidable even with a steeled conscience.
But back to what I was saying (again): there will still be noise in a coffee shop. Unfortunately, my mind works best in absolute silence. I can delve deeply into a sphere of thoughts and ideas, then type them out in a flowing river of words, but the slightest noise–like my bedroom door shuttering from the wind created by the front door–will yank me out of my imaginary world and break the seal that so shyly bound me there.
So where, might I surmise, is the best place to write? Right now, it’s still my bedroom, but only after midnight when everyone else has gone to sleep. Late at night–or should I say early in the morning–I know for sure that I will find peace and solitude. Of course, this is a double-edged sword, and I’m constantly battling fatigue during the day, especially at school and at work.
I also like to write alone. I don’t like anyone seeing my screen, even though they’re probably not interested in its contents in the least bit, so this severely limits my seating options in a coffee shop. I wouldn’t want to sit with my back to a window, or to the center of the congregation, or to a single man engaged in his newspaper, for that matter. I also agree strongly with the quote from Daphne du Maurier, “Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard.”
On many prior occasions I have read books without knowing the likeness of the author, and in the case the dual identity of author/narrator, it made for a more enjoyable read because the voice could speak to me as if it were coming from my head. On those instances in which I have read novels knowing exactly what the author looked like, I felt as if that face were talking to me–and since that face wasn’t part of the story, it took away from my suspension of disbelief (if only in the slightest manner). Not that I’m writing monumental novels or anything–I just don’t like writing in public as much as I do in private.
Imagine, if you will, a writing system that includes pauses–say, in the form of [P]–resulting from any outside events that distract the writer from his work. Between this paragraph and the last, then, would be a [P] with a subtext that read, “Piano in adjacent room.”
Thank God for air filters.
Dieser Blogbeitrag löste das Ganze aus, hier ist der Koffein-Rechner.
Sorry, I can’t read German! I used AltaVista’s Babel Fish translator, but, as anyone who has ever had to use this tool for serious works knows, it’s a complete piece of junk, and has rendered your comment thus: “This Blogbeitrag (blog… something?) released the whole, here is the Koffein (caffeine?) computer.” [parentheses mine]
Perhaps you could translate your comment into English for me? (Or, as Babel Fish would say, “Möglicherweise konnten Sie Ihre Anmerkung ins Englische für mich übersetzen?”)
Did it say anything about diet sodas??? I’m a writer too but can’t drink coffee, so I sustain myself on about four diet cokes a day. =(
There are, in fact, 19 diet sodas on the list. Go check out the link! http://www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine
Interesting, I actually do some work well in coffee shops. Though I do perfer them at their quiet times.
Mostly, it’s a joy to sit in a corner and watch the people go about their lives and discussions. Quiet and unseen, they barly notice me anyway.
Favorate time overall, however, is the early mornings, when the sun has just barly started to tint the sky. A quote I read, though by who I don’t know, spoke of this time of day.
“It’s a time when only the wise men are out, for they know that only at this time are all the desires and concious thought gone from the world.”
It was actually speaking of when to do yoga… but I associated it with writing as well.
I can’t help overloading myself with coffee, sugar, and caffeinated tea at around 8 or 9pm so that I will be alert and focused when everyone else has gone to bed, even knowing that it will make me groggy the next day.
I really enjoyed this post. For myself, I’ve found that I focus best in a busy (to a point) Starbuck’s. Because I don’t know anyone there, I’m not tempted to stop and chat. Because it’s not my house, I can’t start thinking of the laundry that needs to be done, the carpet that needs to be vacuumed, or any number of other excuses that would take me away from my laptop. Because I’d have to pay a ridiculous rate to get on WiFi, I don’t surf the web while I should be writing. And because there are people around, I actually remember to stay zeroed in on what I’m doing. I’m less apt to start staring off into space or playing with my pen when the lady at the next table will start wondering what’s wrong with me.
You make some really valid points. My friend and I were working on a ridiculous screenplay in Starbucks for a while, and we certainly made some progress.
[...] On Caffeine and Writing: A fun read on how much caffeine it takes to kill you and where a good writing spot can be found. Of his list of caffeinated drinks, Starbucks Grande Coffee scaringly can kill you the fastest (although it would still take you a lot). [...]
But the most surprising thing of all? It would take less Starbucks Grandes than cans of Cocaine Energy Drink to kill me.